You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
