I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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