HIV tests are more positive than that guy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
