I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
a search helicopter?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
