Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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