I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
