Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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