They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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