On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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