I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.