Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh good, I think they're gone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest