i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful