it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.