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Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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