what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you would pick up someone in the library
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
