What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
