I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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