Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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