If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
