Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
