That's intense
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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