What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please come you make the beer taste better
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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