Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize