i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
