just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
