Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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