Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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