have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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