Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There r osticjed everywhere
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
