so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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