By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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