4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
