i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
