wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
