she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
