you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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