I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
