watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It's just like the Real World with babies
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
