Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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