I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
