someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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