Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize