There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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