on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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