remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize