Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
birth control should be required to get into college
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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