you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
