nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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