Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
