After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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