I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
