I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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