Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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