There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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