i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
