I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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