I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
