You're so nebulous sometimes
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Come share oat with me in your robe
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
