I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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