You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
