Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
