Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
