I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
